In the end, you have to say that FIFA got the World Cup final they deserved. After pooling their collective wisdom, they somehow managed to concoct an event that was a complete shit-show in both the figurative and literal sense of the word.
This isn’t bitterness talking, much, but Argentina should never have been allowed to make that final. Their awful brand of sportsmanship was enabled by officials throughout the tournament to facilitate the progress of a few ageing stars that really needed no help anyway, and what the billions of football fans around the world got served as a result of this was a big stinking pile of garbage.
And that that was just the half time entertainment! (Have I Got News For You can have that one for free.)
It was hard to fathom — a bit like the dream I had just a few nights ago, in which I was told the actor who plays Ian Beale in EastEnders speaks with a Northern Irish accent in real life. So he does. He doesn’t, of course, which came as a disappointment when I double-checked his Wikipedia page the next morning, just to make sure.
Honestly, I was so angry at Argentina’s anti-football approach that I actually found myself willing them to score a late equaliser to take the match to penalties, just so they’d be able to return some of the entertainment they’d stolen from us.
Can you imagine a world in which that happened, and Argentina won the shoot-out? It would’ve justified their whole approach even further and sent ripples around Trump’s ever expanding waste line. As a warmongering convicted felon with no morals whatsoever, I’m sure he’d have loved their dirty underhand and manipulative tactics while claiming ownership of an overseas territory in a post-match victory banner.
In the end, though, Spain won and Trump got served a load of rubbish for the one match he actually managed to attend, which felt very apt.