While hanging up some washing today (because I like to party) I decided to actually read what was written on one of my son’s t-shirts. As a copywriter, I’m intrigued whenever I see a slogan or a brand line, and I work in reverse to try and imagine the brief.
The brief owner was probably trying to strike the tricky balance of saying something aspirational, or meaningful in some way, while knowing very few people would read it or even care what it actually said or meant.
It’s a tightrope I’ve walked many a time over the years.
A couple of decades ago I wouldn’t have thought to care what was written on the clothes I was wearing — apart from one. FCUK knew what they were doing, and by extension I suppose I did too when I bought one of their t-shirts a couple of decades ago and wore it on nights out in Cleethorpes.
Firstly, I would straight up wear my son’s t-shirt if they made it in my size. Perhaps the Next buyers haven’t yet realised there are a lot of men out there, just like me, who have never really grown up. There’s definitely a market out there for that. Then again, I thought that about the jaffa cake Muller corners, but they were soon discontinued.
I had to stop myself from going into Next because it was costing me a lot of money. I’d go to have a little browse and half an hour later I’d be walking out of there about £80 lighter with a new wardrobe for my son, and everything in my arms would be everything I would wear myself if it would fit.
It’s fair to say I’m a fan of a floral shirt. There’s a time and a place for them, and it’s usually in the office during the milder months of the year. But I stop short of wanting to be known as someone who wears jazzy shirts. In fact, when it comes to fashion, I’ve always wanted to look the part, but not wanted to stand out in any way. Basically, I want to blend in, but blend in fashionably. Don’t be detected for being too fashionable, but also don’t be detected for being unfashionable.
Has my life been a daring adventure? There’s a hint of tautology in that. Well, I could count the time I closed my eyes while cycling to see how long I could keep them closed without crashing, or the time I kicked the kitchen door in because the spring in the handle mechanism had locked and it was the only way to resolve the problem. I’d never felt more alive. And honestly, if you want to make 10 seconds feel like a lifetime, close your eyes while cycling.
What’s left outside of those two events would, according to my son’s t-shirt, be ‘nothing at all’, which seems a bit harsh.
Who’d have thought that kids’ t-shirt slogans don’t speak the truth. I should’ve realised that long ago when my son (as a baby) wore a pyjama set that said ‘Play all day, sleep all night’.